that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize
