He uses pillows to masturbate.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
