Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
