It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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