the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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