needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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