Nicole vs. Life
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
