they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Randomize
