Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
