So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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