Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
