I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize
