there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
