I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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