worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
