go do what you do best...puke behind churches
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
