so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
