mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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