Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
