I wish my penis had an off switch
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
