genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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