He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
