Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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