Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
