Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
