This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I can text with my tongue
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
