the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
