I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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