She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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