we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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