Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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