Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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