It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
