my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
