Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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