What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
