I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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