is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Never let your siblings swipe right.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
