Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize