How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
