Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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