Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
It's official drugs can't kill me
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Randomize
