I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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