i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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