you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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