i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
