dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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