last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
