If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Randomize
