why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
